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I'm the Problem, It's Me
Published 3 months ago • 4 min read
I'm the Problem, It's Me
I've been thinking about that line a lot lately. Not in a dramatic way. In a quiet, uncomfortable way. My wife and I have been talking about a few things we keep doing that we no longer want to do. Things that have been with us long enough to feel permanent.
What got me was a comment I made. I said "I have to go do this" when I was leaving the house. First...the wording was all wrong. I "get" to do it. And if I don't "get" to do it, why am I doing this in the first place...if it feels like a burden?
And from this little experience comes this week's newsletter. I have a feeling you (like me) are doing some things you simply don't want to do any more. Time for a change methinks.
Enjoy!
JP
P.S.: This newsletter is ad free because of a generous contribution from Lulu.Three years from now, the most profitable creators will be the ones who have direct audiences. A physical book helps you do that. If this thought resonates with you, Lulu will help.
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This week my wife and I started naming a few things we simply don't want to do anymore. Not dramatic life changes. Just recurring commitments, routines, and obligations that no longer bring much energy or meaning.
What surprised us was not the list.
It was how long it took us to say it out loud.
These were not new feelings. We've been carrying them around for years. We just kept going. At some point, continuing felt easier than stopping.
That led to a second realization. Even when you know you no longer want something, it is incredibly difficult to change. Awareness does not equal action. And this seems to be true for almost everyone.
Once you notice it, you see it everywhere.
I cannot think of a single person in my life, including myself, who does not keep doing things they actively do not enjoy or find meaning or purpose in. Meetings they dread. Projects they resent. Social obligations they complain about before and after.
It is almost mind boggling when you really think about it.
What makes this unsettling is not that we feel stuck. It's that, in most cases, nobody is actually forcing us.
We like to believe there is pressure. From clients. From bosses. From platforms. From expectations. From the way things are supposed to be done. But strip all that away and what is left is usually choice. Or more accurately, the choice not to choose.
We keep doing things we do not enjoy because stopping would require us to admit something heavier. That this part of our life is optional. And if it is optional, then continuing it becomes a decision we make. It's on us.
That is a hard truth to sit with.
The Creator Truth
Most creators are not trapped. They are committed to things that once made sense and no longer do.
A weekly podcast that has become a grind. A social platform that no longer returns energy. A client type that pays well but drains everything else.
Change is hard because there is no one to blame. You are the one who has been saying yes. You, and not someone or something else, has been the problem all along.
This is not about quitting everything or burning it all down. It is about stopping the untruth that what you are repeating is mandatory.
So how do you start?
Start With a Still-Doing List
For one week, keep a short list of anything that triggers this thought:
I do not enjoy this anymore.
For creators, this often shows up as:
A newsletter you publish out of obligation, not excitement
A social platform you feel you cannot leave
A content cadence that made sense years ago
A partnership you would not accept again today
Don't fix anything yet. Just observe and notice.
Separate Choices From Defaults
Look at that list and ask one question:
Would I start this again today?
If the answer is no, it is probably a default you never revisited. Defaults feel permanent even when they are not.
Run a Thirty-Day Test
Instead of quitting, pause one thing for thirty days. Skip a platform. Reduce an episode. Say no to one type of work.
The data here will be how you feel after you’ve made a change. Is it relief? If so, that’s the right decision.
Do this daily and you’ll lose your mind. It’s too much. Once a quarter is enough.
The goal is not less work. The goal is work that still fits.
The most dangerous lie creators tell themselves is not that they have no options. It is that they will deal with this later. Later becomes next quarter. Next quarter becomes next year. And eventually, the thing you assumed was temporary becomes permanent.
You are allowed to change your mind. You are allowed to outgrow formats, platforms, and paths. You are allowed to stop doing things that no longer serve the life you want.
The hardest part is not making the change. The hardest part is admitting that nobody was making you stay. And once you see that clearly, everything else gets easier to see too.
What's worth your time...
Are You Squared Away? I sat down with Camden Bucey on his new podcast Squared Away Life discussing how to find freedom and decide on the right path forward.
Social Media Ban. Australia actually did it...banning social media for children under 16. Here's an important update.
Until next Friday, keep building something that matters.
JP (Joe Pulizzi)
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